Psychodynamic Therapy in Fairfax, VA
When the Same Patterns Keep Finding Their Way Back
I’m Jacob Clark, MS, LPC, a psychoanalytic therapist providing treatment in Fairfax, VA and online throughout VA, DC, and CO. I work with people who keep finding themselves in familiar relationship patterns, emotional conflicts, or ways of coping that no longer seem to help. We begin with what is happening in your life now, then make room to understand the experiences, relationships, and parts of yourself that may be harder to put into words.
Licensed Professional Counselor
“Good therapy starts where common sense ends.”
— Otto Kernberg
Why do I keep ending up here?
Most people come to therapy because they already understand at least some of their patterns. It may be the same argument, the same kind of partner, the same dread, or the same way of coping. Psychodynamic therapy gives us a place to look more closely at why these emotional and relationship patterns keep finding their way back.
The past lives on in the present
Human beings inevitably enact prior dynamics and prior defense mechanisms which often keep them feeling stuck in the present. What once kept us safe often paradoxically creates the feeling of existing within a cage or framework that is impossible to transcend and grow. Sometimes we are so sure of how unlovable we are that we invariably provoke those in our life to abandon us. When we loosen the bonds of the past, we cease to live out the past again and again and find that instead we live our lives.
The Unconscious, in Plain Terms
Many people hear the word unconscious and picture something vague or mystical. That is not what I mean.
I mean the things we have learned about relationships, safety, disappointment, needing, and protecting ourselves that can continue to shape us before we have had the chance to name them. Sometimes we know something intellectually, but we still react, relate, or make decisions as though an older version of the story is happening again.
Psychodynamic therapy gives us a place to slow down around those moments. We pay attention to strong reactions, familiar expectations, what gets avoided, the stories you tell yourself, and the ways you may have learned to get your needs met.
One useful way of thinking about this is implicit memory. Implicit memory refers to learning and emotional expectations that can influence the present without arriving as a clear, factual memory. It can help explain why a situation feels intensely familiar, why a relationship brings up more than seems to fit the moment, or why you may know what you want to do but still struggle to do it (Schore, 2019).
We do not need to turn your past into a neat explanation for everything that is difficult now. We work to understand what is happening in the present and what it may be connected to in the past so you can move past it.
How psychodynamic therapy works
Psychodynamic therapy fundamentally takes place in the context of a long, slow, and deliberate clinical relationship.
You will bring in previous patterns and beliefs about yourself along with how you relate to others and get your needs met.
Often, it is what people do in the context of the clinical relationship that tells me who they are and how the world experiences them.
The term transference refers specifically to the activation of preexisting expectations, templates, scripts, fears, and desires in the context of the therapy relationship, with the patient viewing the therapist through the lenses of early important relationships.
As your clinical relationship deepens with time, these patterns will intensify and be made clear to you. You will grow to understand yourself better.
When we begin to understand who we really are, when we expose the worst & most difficult parts of ourselves, we are able to learn acceptance. Paradoxically, when we are able to accept who and what we are, we are able to change.
We are of many minds
Ambivalence is a fundamental part of being human. We can love and resent the same person. We can want change while also feeling afraid of what it might ask of us. We may feel caught between competing needs, ideas, or versions of ourselves.
Psychodynamic therapy does not ask you to get rid of those contradictions or choose one feeling as the “right” one. We make room to understand them. As we become less afraid of the complex parts of ourselves, there is often less friction in our relationships, decisions, and daily life.
Ready to do the deeper work?
Let’s connect to talk more about your goals and see if this feels like a good fit.